Hello again Sue,

I realize that I got so into my anti-fondant tirade yesterday that I forgot to mention why the urgency to detoxify and fabulosify.

Well, first of all. I feel gross. Seriously, I haven’t worked out more than three times in as many weeks. Ugh. So not hot.

Second, I am getting married in less than six months! Which means I have less than half a year to get my Domestic Boddess in the best shape of my life! Ack!

Third, and most urgent, is the fact that in just over two weeks The Lawyer and I have our engagement photo shoot. Thus, I simply must look A to the Mazing STAT!

Now, you have known The Lawyer a lot longer than I have. Did you ever think he would agree to an engagement photo shoot?! I mean do you love it or do you love it. He’s even working out extra super hard with Colossus in order to be at his hottest. In fact, I am getting a little concerned that if I don’t start sweatin’ pronto, The Lawyer is going to totally out-hot me. Which is unacceptable. Obv.

So Sue, I have been thinking of you because you are the Detox Queen.

DomestiGal Sue, the picture of zen

So, in accordance with your teachings, I have taken the following measures to ensure ultimate hotness for my engagement pictures:

1. Fish oil rules. I am taking six capsules a day.

Fish oil is good for your heart, your skin, and your brain!

2. Detox tea. You know I love me some Yogi tea.

This tea tastes great and sometimes makes me poop.

3. Eating lots of salmon.

Here fishy fishy fishy... come to Jenny...

4. Cutting back on the booze. Yeah, um - so here’s the thing. If I drink whiskey that’s better than wine, right? Because, you know, you only need a sip or two. Please tell me this is acceptable, Sue. I can’t get through grad school sober.

Jack and Jen: MFEO?

5. And, last but not least, getting off my bum. I have some steep competition these days, as my trainer just got a new client:

DomestiGal Jen's fellow gym rat

No. For real. That’s really her. She’s a famous model.

But I bet she can’t deadlift 240 pounds!

Sigh. I think it’s teatime.

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

Dear DomestiGals,

Last time I ended my post asking what everyone’s boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, husband, wife or domestic partner did that drove you all nuts.

I wanted to share what happened today.

There I was, happily blogging away for my various sites, when The Doctor’s personal trainer appeared at our house. She is a pretty hilarious girl, but I almost died when she came into our apartment and started eating Starbursts and other candy. Thankfully, even The Doctor called her out on it, to which she replied, “Dude, I’m hypoglycemic.”

Apple, anyone?

(Jen, can you even *imagine* Colossus, your A to the Mazing personal training, even eating a slice of pizza, let alone candy?? If he eats candy, it’s probably made out of tofu!)

Anyway, The Doctor, my dearly beloved, must be the worst personal training client in the world. I knew he was terrible at exercise and a bit lazy, but today he was out of control.

He did all of the following of his 45 minute workout:

1. Came over to say hello
2. Came over to kiss me
3. Started vacuuming
4. Went to the bathroom
5. Changed his “workout” music from disco to hiphop and then back to disco again
6. Came over to show me this letter he got in the mail from a friend, and did I think we should put it up on the fridge or just recycle it?

Oy, oy, oy.

It is highly debatable whether he actually got through his assigned sit-ups, push-ups and squats.

Come on, ladies. Are you telling me that Caz is the only one who has a partner who drives her crazy with his dirty laundry?

Jen, how does The Lawyer put you over the edge?

Love,

Drill Sargent Sue

PS: Happy Halloween, DomestiGals! What spooky (or hot) outfits will you be wearing tonight?

When faced with constant free meals like this:

This was the scene at a recent MBA barbeque/fatty gorgefest.
I mean COME ON PEOPLE. If it’s not the boozing that will kill my wedding figure, it’s the meat. Lots and lots of meat. Meat everywhere. And not healthy meat, either! And because I’m a poor grad student I have no choice, I MUST EAT IT. I MUST EAT THE FREE FOOD.
Sigh. As if post-workout puking weren’t enough of a lesson… Colossus would have my head if he ever learned of the true deterioration of my diet.
Sue! How will I be able to get through this year without either a) going broke because I’m trying to buy healthy food, or b) gaining a zillion pounds and busting out of my Wedding Dress of Dreams? And which is worse?
At least Nutella never comes free.
Sigh,
Jen

According to a somewhat skeezy article on Wikipedia, “Powerlifting is a strength sport, consisting of three events: the squat, the bench press, and the deadlift. Powerlifting resembles the sport of Weightlifting as both disciplines involve lifting heavy weights in three attempts.”