Ah Sue,

Fortunately for you, the stress of this MBA program is totally overwhelming me at the moment so I have no stress left for you and your unplanned-yet-definitely-happening wedding!

But do share some further details… your new moissanite is cushion-cut? Are there any sidestones? Do tell!

The other day I had my first dental appointment in London - no biggie, since I do have perfect teeth (for real. No cavities, no braces, no grinding, nada! Pure perfection! Dentists can never believe I haven’t had braces. My teeth are also unnaturally white, especially considering the amounts of coffee and red wine I drink - uh, drank, pre-detox, that is. Anyway.) - just had to have a cleaning. So I lay back in the chair, and this cute little hygienist puts on her mask and starts up the sonic cleaning thing (which, I mean, is it me or do those things always hurt more than they look like they should?), and then says, “Oh my goodness! Look at your ring!” And then - wait for it - I love the Brits - “That’s a proper sparkler!” And then she asked to see it up close.

Not that this is about me and my engagement ring of dreams.

So your new moissanite is cushion-cut, eh? Is it a solitaire, like this lovely moissanite morsel:

Courtesy of the confusingly-named www.moissanitediamond.com

Or did you get side stones, like these?

www.moissanitediamond.com again. Still confusing.

What about your wedding band? Is it plain or a moissanite eternity band? Deets, stat, lady!

Please, give me an excuse to think of bling instead of corporate finance…

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

And the marriage begins! 

Of course, the following has not yet been completed:

1.  The dress.

Chinese Red Wedding Dresses

Have I seen the dress that my sister has designed for me?  Um, no.  Am I concerned?  Actually, no.  Will I even try it on before the actually wedding date?  Not sure.  My sister and I are the same size, so whatever fits her will probably fit me.  (BTW, the above photo is a joke.  I shall not be wearing a big question mark down the aisle.  Hmmm… although I won’t be walking down any sort of aisle, so I guess you weren’t concerned.)

2.  The location. 

East Village Garden

Has the garden where we’re getting married in the Lower East Side actually written us back to confirm?  Nope!  Have I reached out a couple of times to confirm?  Surprisingly, yes.  Shouldn’t I be worried?  Probably, but I’m not.

3.  The post-wedding lunch.

Have reservations been made?  I’ll let you take a guess.  However!  My future mother-in-law did plan our Sunday Mother’s Day brunch.  Phew.  She obviously knows what sort of daughter-in-law she is about to get!

4.  The officiant.

Apparently, unless The Doctor’s brother all of a sudden becomes a priest/rabbi/whatever, the marriage wouldn’t be recognized.  But!  Two of my other DomestiGal friends used this certified-ceremony-woman who apparently does fab wedding ceremonies (she did a wedding in Central Park for one of my friend’s, and another wedding on the Hudson for the other).   The Doctor took me into his arms last night and said, “Um, honey.  Did you know we’re getting married?”  And then demanded that I get out my day planner so that we could plan a day to meet with this certified-ceremony-woman (CCW).

5.  The rings!

Sue's Former Moissanite of Dreams

Hello.  You all know I’ve been trying to get my moissanite-of-dreams.  Unfortunately, the moissanite, upon arrival, was not that dreamy.  But, I did get confirmation yesterday that my cushion-cut engagement ring (and wedding ring friend) will be arriving in the mail soon.  We still have to get The Doctor’s ring, which, I can assure you, will be 5 times the cost of mine.  (The Doctor can be a wee bit fancy.)

Anyway, I hope this email didn’t give DomestiGal Jen a complete break-down, as I know she’s stressed enough with her own wedding plans and MBA classes!

xx,

Sue

Uy, uy, uy.

Dearest DomestiGals,

The moissanite-ring-of-dreams arrived, and, rather sadly, is not for me.  I can’t believe I’m about to say this (as DomestiGal Jen may never speak to me again), but… there was too much bling.

Yup.

Too. Much. Bling.

And Sparkle.  (Let me read directly from my DomestiGal bio:  Sue was a special young girl, playing MASH with her friends but never dreaming of a wedding or diamonds. (White was never her color, and she dislikes all things that sparkle.)

While I appreciate that Jen needs bling to blind her fellow MBA students from passing their exams so that she can ace all of them, I really don’t have that need.  I mean, had I worn it during today’s 4 mile Colon Cancer Challenge race in Central Park, I would’ve blinded the 90 year old man that I was running neck-in-neck with.  That just wouldn’t have been nice.

Let’s take another look at my moissanite, shall we?

Sue's Wedding Ring.. has been eliminated!

It’s just so pretty!  I’m devastated that I don’t like it.  I showed it to Sherika and she absolutely loved it.  My other friend, Kim, was also in love and wore it for about 20 minutes during dinner.  They both thought it looked like a real diamond.

Then my jewelry expert friend Yaf came over this weekend for the *real* review.  I swear, I think she may have a better eye than diamond dealers, as diamond dealers can’t tell the difference between moissanites and diamonds, but Yaf can.

First of all, though I’m a size 4.5, I decided to take Jen’s suggestion to heart (the fact that one day I’ll be uber-fat from having lil’ DomestiGal babies) and get a slightly larger size.  I went for a 5, and the thing is practically falling off my hand.  But that’s not why I’m returning it.

I thought, since I was buying it as a set, that the engagement ring and wedding ring would actually, magically, fit together.  I didn’t realize there would be a 12 inch gap between the two rings and that they wanted me to wear it on both hands!

Aside from that, the center stone, aside from looking yellowish in certain lights, just looked too big on my finger!  (Even The Doctor said I needed a smaller ring!)  I understand that this is Manhattan, and that bling is where it’s at, but I don’t think it needs to be *at* my finger.

Anyway, so the search for the perfect moissanite still continues. This is really unfortunately, as I’m a) exhausted b) can’t stand searching for rings and c) am sick of obsessing.

Jen, will you just pick one for me already? What about this one?

Sue's Moissanite Ring of Dreams... take two?

Did any of you ever receive an engagement ring (or other piece of jewelry) that you secretly hated?  Do tell…
Love,

Ringless Sue

DomestiGals,

I finally caved.  I decided to get a proper engagement/wedding ring, as my domestic partner ring is a bit too modest, as my friends indicate.

Let’s review.

Here is my domestic partnership ring that we purchased from Versani, a store here in SoHo where my beautiful friend Yaf has been for almost a decade.

Sue's Domestic Partnership Ring

And here is my beloved Domestic-Partner-but-soon-to-be-hubby’s Ring:

The Doctor's Domestic Partnership Ring

And now for the DomestiGal Drumroll….

Sue's Moissanite Wedding Ring

Well?  What do you think?  Obviously because this is *such* a big deal, I had to make the picture about 10 times bigger than our domestic partnership rings.

Hopefully it’ll arrive this week!  Of course, I’ll need Jen to give me proper advice on how to care for my ring.  I’m still debating how often I’ll actually wear it, as my domestic partnership ring is easy to wear around the gym.  Jen, are you wearing your 55 karat rock when you work out with Colossus, your personal trainer?

Love,

Sue

Dear DomestiGal Jen,

I’ve finally recovered from the temporary blindness I had from reviewing all those pictures you posted of Posh and other celebrities’ wedding rings.  And your gorgeous engagement ring, of course.

I’m am, per usual, obsessing over the following:  do I/don’t I want a moissanite wedding ring.  (Let’s be honest:  the only reason I want a moissanite, rather than a diamond, is because “moi” is in moissanite.  And obv it’s always all about me.)

The other thing I’m obsessing about is the following:  do I/don’t I want… babies!

Um, yeah.  So, obviously I shouldn’t be talking about rings and babies in the same blog post, but I am, people!

Clearly I’m going to just ignore the whole topic on the Angelina Jolie look-a-like psycho, Nadya Suleman.

Angelina Jolie look-a-like Nadya Suleman.

Ew.  Seriously, I can barely look at her picture above.

But, I must say that her case makes me worried about multiples!  I have identical twin uncles on my Asian side, identical twin cousins on my White side… and The Doctor is an identical twin!

Could we imagine anything more simultaneously wonderful and horrible than having a room full of DomestiGal Sues?

DomestiGal Sue Gone Wild 5 Times Over!

I just don’t know if I could handle the following… unless you, DomestiGal Jen, moved on in!

Sue's Babies + Jen Babies = Divine DomestiGalLandia!

Jen, I know that me just saying the word Baby is making you want to leave your MBA program STAT, and, admittedly, I encourage all behavior along those lines!  (I miss you here in NYC!)

I, on the other hand, am currently having a baby heart attack.

DomestiGals, how many of you out there have your hands filled with dirty diapers?

Love,

Sue

Dear Sue & Jen,

I have to say, I really adore the moissanite ring talk you’ve been engaging in over the past posts, but I can’t say that I’m as entirely on the boat as you guys are. I have to voice my opinion! DomestiGal or not, I am thoroughly domestic (and alternately non-domestic) and I will be heard!

I feel like we skipped a step in this discussion, we went from diamonds to moissanite in one move - that’s like getting engaged on a second date! And Sue, I thought you didn’t even really want the fuss of this formality stuff! Let’s at least go on a third date before you guys really commit.

I get that moissanite is great for a whole bunch of reasons - including that the stone in the middle is conflict free. You get a brand new shiny piece of jewelry, and at least part of the appeal is that you have a big stone without the same cost of a big stone. Here is where I get tripped up though: what about the minerals your stones are set in?

Mining is tough, dirty, and extremely environmentally disruptive at the best of times if it’s not downright harmful. Unless your moissanite ring is set in recycled gold, it’s still harmful to the environment, and the rings that I’ve found online really aren’t as pocket friendly as I’d thought they would be! Maybe it’s because I’m a married girl in my 20s, but there is no way I could find it acceptable for my Mister to throw down $2000+ for a ring, especially if there were no diamonds changing hands.

Knowing where I stood on this, when Mister and I knew we wanted to get married, I started looking at vintage rings.

Okay hear me out!

Has someone else worn them? Maybe. Maybe they were purchased for someone and never accepted. Maybe they were given and never worn. Maybe they were worn for a year and then put into a box again. But once I got over the “someone else factor” - I have to say that vintage rings hold my heart.

First of all: it’s not about cost. Vintage rings are beautifully designed. Rings from the 1920 and 1930 can be simply or exquisitely set - but they are all warm designs with extreme attention to detail that you have to pay $3000+ for in a new, or moissanite, ring.

Second: The cuts of the stones are also more generous - because a lot of the technology that we have just wasn’t around you can get a really gorgeous, and big, stone that by today’s standards would lose a quarter of a carat just in making the cut more precise. I have to say, I don’t really care how precisely cut the stone is - the diamonds really do sparkle the same in a vintage setting.

And of course, my goodness are they cheap. At estate sales and resellers you can get a vintage ring for a fraction of the cost that you would buy new. The designs are warm and detailed, and you can buy them without breaking the bank. The diamonds that you’re buying are already in the world, no one’s digging them out or making imitation stones, and gold is upcycled if not recycled. How eco-friendly can you get?

My ring Mister used to propose ended up being Mister’s Grandmother’s ring. The modern designs just didn’t work with my sensibilities in the end, and it’s worked out perfectly for us. I had the wedding band re-set and they made an awesome pair.

Can I stop being practical and go back to being a girl talking about her wedding for just a second? Here’s my engagement ring. It’s almost a carat. It’s from mister, and I love it. The start of a very good thing.

What do you think? Anyone thinking of taking the vintage plunge?

For more Kyla Bea, check out her fabulous blog! Thank you, Kyla, for adding this new dimension to our ring obsession! XOXO!

Dude, *love* all those rings you posted about yesterday! The Doctor has been threatening to buy me jewelry for my birthday this Friday (and when he says that, he means earrings or a necklace) and I keep stressing, “Do you hear me? Do not buy me jewelry! Save your money for my moissanite ring!”

Ug, I mean, come on. I’ve become such a girl, the next thing you know I’ll actually be going from Domestic Partnership to REAL LIVE WEDDING or something totally insane for me.

Also, how many karats do you want? I can understand this obsession of wanting something that is at least a karat. Is the Ring of Dreams The Lawyer is buying 1 karat or 2 karats? Have you instructed him on desired size?

So back to me.

It seems that Gwyneth was the clear winner from our weekend of “diamond” ring shopping for DomestiGal Sue.

Sigh.

Let’s just look at that beauty once again.

I mean, double sigh.

Also, do you realize that this is the last Tuesday ever that I’ll be posting as a 20-something?? That’s right, ladies, I’m about to enter into Dirty Thirty territory! I just sent out the following birthday reminder to those unfortunate enough to be my friends here in NYC:

Hey guys,

Just a not-so-friendly-crack-of-the-whip reminder that my birthday is
this Friday and our Dance Party will be Saturday, November 15. For
those of you who get here at 8pm, you’ll be fed yummy treats courtesy
Formaggio Kitchen.

Remember, lame excuses for why you’re not in attendance will not be
accepted. (Not interested that you have an early morning Sunday
political protest, you can’t get out of your hospital shift, you’re on
your honeymoon, you’re still too exhausted from campaigning for Obama
in Michigan and Pennsylvania, or that you have too much work to do for
your PhD/MBA/JD).

You should be at [my address] that evening. If it’s nice out, we can party on the roof as well.

Finally, if you need any additional reasons to celebrate, Obama’s going to be our next president!

(Isn’t it so much more personal that I emailed this, rather than you
finding out via Facebook and Twitter?)

Thought so.

See you all Saturday!

xx,

My Real Name

Anyway, Jen, I know you just flew in to have brunch with me last weekend, but I can’t wait ’til you surprise me, once again, for my 30th.

Here’s to my next decade with the DomestiGals (How old are all of you, anyway?)!

Love,

Dirty Thirty Sue

Sue my darling,

First of all? Did you HAVE to tell the blogosphere about the three entrees? Not that I’m ashamed, because we are looking hot (if I do say so myself, but thank you for the confirmation), and we only make it to that brunch spot like twice a year now when we used to go every weekend so it’s important to get to eat all of our favorite things on the menu… anyway. I’m over it. And I hope you enjoyed your mimosa and two glasses of wine, by the way.

Anyway, it’s like 7:00AM here. I’ve been up since 6. The Lawyer was up here this weekend and had to catch his train this morning. Trying not to be too sad/cranky/whiny about this whole long-distance thing, but it SUCKS. What’s worse is that I have a class called “Business Modelling” at 9 - and no, it’s not about how to look hot in the office, but about how to use Excel to do weird stuff that I don’t understand in the first place - and I have lots of homework to do. So thank you, Sue, for giving me an excuse to procrastinate… by looking at (fake) diamond rings!

Let me say that I totally approve of your choices. Is Diamond Nexus Labs fun to browse or what?! Even though I’m afraid you are going to wake up any day now and snap our of your blingtastic reverie, let me just add a couple more rings to the mix.

First, I was delighted to find Fanfare.

This ring actually fairly closely resembles the Ring of Dreams! (Though the Ring of Dreams is a little more svelte, but nevertheless similarly art deco-inspired. And made with real diamonds. Are you reading, Lawyer? I said REAL DIAMONDS.) Anyway, this may be a little too heavy for your dainty Asian fingers but I had to feature it here.

Next, we have Adelaide.

Mostly just because I couldn’t resist taking your new-found love for bling that much farther. Is this ring gorge or what?! The thin band would look beautiful on you, and the sparkle factor is just perfecto I think.
Of your choices, Sue, I would definitely go for Gwynie.

She actually looks a lot like the Tiffany Novo, also known as the Ex-Ring of Dreams (as my Midwestern Caucasian/German Ancestral fingers are too big for such dainty perfection).

Can’t wait to hear your further thoughts!

By the way, you do realize that these rings ooze “Wife,” not “Domestic Partner,” right? I mean. Just saying…
Ok, off to hit the books.

xoxo,

Jen