DomestiGal Jen,

We’re certainly having a detox emergency!  We have to get you hotter-than-your-already-oozing-hottness, and ASAP.  (And, since The Doctor and I just received your Save-the-Date, now there’s no extending time to get you in uber-Evangeline-Lilly form!)

DomestiGal Jen in 6 months!

I love that you’re taking fish oil, (over)eating salmon, and spending extra hours exercising with Colossus.

Have you considered drinking aloe vera juice as an all natural-cleanse?  You can read more about it on this detox site, Detoxilicious.

Secondly, and this will be hardest… [insert clearing of the throat here].  How many drinks are you drinking per week?  I mean, you’re a stressed out MBA student, so do tell.  Are you having a glass of wine an evening, or one glass of wine between classes??

DomestiGals love red wine

While wine is super high in antioxidants, and help us all prevent wrinkles and other unsightly signs of aging, you could also consider juicing with veggies, rather than, ahem, grapes.  Aside from that, depending on the pour, a glass of wine is anywhere between 100-200 calories.  Are you drinking an extra 1,000 calories per week?

Don’t worry, Jen, your response will be between me and you… and the rest of the DomestiGals.

xx,

Sue

Hello again Sue,

I realize that I got so into my anti-fondant tirade yesterday that I forgot to mention why the urgency to detoxify and fabulosify.

Well, first of all. I feel gross. Seriously, I haven’t worked out more than three times in as many weeks. Ugh. So not hot.

Second, I am getting married in less than six months! Which means I have less than half a year to get my Domestic Boddess in the best shape of my life! Ack!

Third, and most urgent, is the fact that in just over two weeks The Lawyer and I have our engagement photo shoot. Thus, I simply must look A to the Mazing STAT!

Now, you have known The Lawyer a lot longer than I have. Did you ever think he would agree to an engagement photo shoot?! I mean do you love it or do you love it. He’s even working out extra super hard with Colossus in order to be at his hottest. In fact, I am getting a little concerned that if I don’t start sweatin’ pronto, The Lawyer is going to totally out-hot me. Which is unacceptable. Obv.

So Sue, I have been thinking of you because you are the Detox Queen.

DomestiGal Sue, the picture of zen

So, in accordance with your teachings, I have taken the following measures to ensure ultimate hotness for my engagement pictures:

1. Fish oil rules. I am taking six capsules a day.

Fish oil is good for your heart, your skin, and your brain!

2. Detox tea. You know I love me some Yogi tea.

This tea tastes great and sometimes makes me poop.

3. Eating lots of salmon.

Here fishy fishy fishy... come to Jenny...

4. Cutting back on the booze. Yeah, um - so here’s the thing. If I drink whiskey that’s better than wine, right? Because, you know, you only need a sip or two. Please tell me this is acceptable, Sue. I can’t get through grad school sober.

Jack and Jen: MFEO?

5. And, last but not least, getting off my bum. I have some steep competition these days, as my trainer just got a new client:

DomestiGal Jen's fellow gym rat

No. For real. That’s really her. She’s a famous model.

But I bet she can’t deadlift 240 pounds!

Sigh. I think it’s teatime.

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

Okay, seriously.

The Doctor and I haven’t had any time to talk to each other, or, for god’s sake, to plan for our garden wedding on May 9.

“Why oh why?” you ask.

Because. We. Are. Obsessed. With. LOST.

I realize we’re both about 4 years behind in terms of this interest.  (Remember, we don’t have a TV, so give us a bit of a break!)  While we’ve missed about 100 Manhattan bar parties that show LOST episodes, we’re desperately trying to catch up.

Forget what kind of vows we’re going to say to each other in front of our families… I’m too busy starting at Evangeline Lilly’s arms.

Wowsers!

I must admit that I have a bit of a DomestiGal crush on her.

While The Doctor assures me that my arms are *almost* there (we’re obviously Domestic Partners because he so sweetly lies to me all the time to make me feel good), I can promise you that they aren’t.  I read that Evangeline Lilly used to work out 3 hours per day and eat very little to keep her body fat down.  I’m not interested in working out more than 30 minutes a couple of times a week.  And sometimes that’s too much to ask.

Did you guys know that Evangeline used to date Charlie (from the show) in real life?  Is that weird or is that really weird?

Okay, back to Season II.  They’re in the hatch!

xx,

Sue

Hello Sue,

Ok, so obv I am not going to actually buy it, people. But look what I found!

Fab orange gown that could totally be a wedding dress by Carmen Marc Valvo

Sigh. Orange perfection.

Now, I heart Carmen Marc Valvo for a number of reasons - not the least of which is that he makes very gorgeous dresses, one of which I will be wearing for my rehearsal dinner! Yes! Yes! I will! It’s a lovely dark green cocktail number with a deep V-neck (HOT) and a black beaded belt (double HOT). I have lusted after Carmen Marc Valvo’s designs for a number of years and was thrilled to find one I could actually afford. Unlike the Orange Wedding Dress of Dreams pictured above. Sigh.

Another reason I heard Carmen Marc? He is a colon cancer survivor. Pretty amazing, right? And he does lots of work to help spread awareness about the disease.

Speaking of which, March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month, DomestiGals! The Colon Cancer Alliance has more info about this very treatable and beatable disease - take a moment to check it out and help spread awareness!

After all, butts are just as hot as boobs - isn’t it time we started talking about them?

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

Sue darling,

Thank you for spoiling the surprise for The Lawyer regarding the neckline of my dress. Thanks A LOT.

(Actually, in truth, I had already let the neckline slip - so to speak. So you’re in the clear. But watch it, lady!)

So yes, as you expected, I have commenced working out my arms, shoulders, and upper back like a mad woman in preparation for the Wedding of Dreams. In fact, I have decided that instead of aiming for the limbs of Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie (are you really still hooked on that scandal? Get over it! Team Brangelina 4evah!), my model for toned arms - as well as general total hotness - is our very own First Foxy Lady, Michelle Obama. Seriously. Did you SEE her upper body in that A to the Mazing Jason Wu gown? Gorge.

Anyway. So with Michelle as my guiding light and Colossus on my ass, I am doing push-ups, pull-downs, rows, dips, curls, and extensions until I drop.

Whenever I am in need of extra motivation, as we all are on occasion, I turn to the glorious Internet. Where do I go? You know you want to know. Check ‘em:

Just Eat Smart - OMG! Did you see that Sherika answered my question personally? As Rachel Zoe says, I die. Not that I watched her reality show. Nope. Definitely did not.

Ultimate Performance - This Colossal site (hint hint) has superb info on any fitness topic you can imagine!

Fit-Bottomed Girls - The FBGs are a long-standing fave of ours. They are always on to something fabulous, and their passion for fitness is always inspiring.

There are so many fitness-related sites out there, but these are my faves.

Must dash - off to the gym! Look at how motivated I am!

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

Dear Jen,

Happy Chinese (ahem, Taiwanese) New Year to me!

And to you! And to all my future, ridiculously cute, JewAsian babies. If The Doctor and I ever plan on having any, obv.

Of course I had no idea what you were talking about on Tuesday when you discussed The Curve. I thought maybe you wanted to brag about all the curves that Colossus, your hot personal trainer, has been helping you define.

I’d much rather talk about those curves rather than the Curveball dance.

What curves are you hoping to emphasize? Your wedding dress is strapless, I know, so I’m sure Colossus is helping your shoulders look hotter than Madonna’s. Is he having you do endless push-ups and tricep dips in between study sessions for your MBA?

I took a Knockout Bride class last night at The New York Health and Racquet Club, and I can barely type this blog post as my arms are entirely too numb. I just envisioned a boxing fight between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston, and that pretty much helped me punch my way through the rest of class.

(BTW, I’m part of Team Aniston; though I’m really so over this whole fiasco).

But back to you and your bride-in-training-bottom.

I think we should take a long look at our favorite babelicious blog designer ever, Ms. Sherika Henry, and Just Eat Smart. She has lots of great tips on what to eat and what muscle to squeeze while doing it.

All right, I’m not done talking about Jen and Brangelina.  Come on, DomestiGal Jen, tell us:  Would you rather be the Knockout Bride who takes on Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

I’ll take on Angelina.  She’s fierce.

xx.
Sue

Happy Inauguration Day, Everyone!

Like many (most! all!) of you, Sue and I will be celebrating today as Barack Obama becomes the 44th President of the Good Ol’ US of A. (And frankly, if my professor doesn’t let us out of class to see the ceremony, I will be devastated! I mean, come on people!)

So we hope you all take some time to enjoy the view…

Courtesy of donkeydish.com

Um, I mean, enjoy this dawn of a new era for the USA!

And you’ll be hearing a Hi to the Larious update from Sue tomorrow!

xoxo

Domestigal Jen

Dearest Jen,

Hmmm… equality in terms of couple hotness is certainly a most excellent topic to discuss.

I mean, since it’s my birthday, can I pretend that I’m hotter than The Doctor? Seriously, I think I woke up on my 30th with a grey hair and slight wrinkles developing around my eyes.

Just kidding. I’m Asian, and Asians don’t age.

Jen, I love how the way you write makes you sound like a 400 pound cow who has to lug herself 2 hours back to London every week to train with Colossus. Even though I watched you and The Lawyer wolf down 3 entrees during a beautiful NYC brunch is no reason to be so hard on yourself.

Anyway, I put together this quick ball-busting workout for you to do in your room. This way, you can stay out of that nasty MBA gym of yours.

Do two minutes of each exercise and be prepared to vomit afterwards:

1. Lunges to the front (R/L) with 8 pound shoulder presses to the ceiling with 8 pound weights;
2. Kickboxing with legs to the side (R/L) with boxing arms punching to the front with 8 pound weights;
3. Squats (R/L) with bent arm lateral raise to the side with 8 pound weights;
4. Static hold squat with back against wall and bicep curls (hands facing each other) with 8 pound weights;
5. Calf raises with bicep curl (hands facing ceiling) upwards with 8 pound weights;
6. On back: Inner thigh reps (legs from Big V to little v) with sit-ups;
7. On back: Inner thigh reps (right leg in front; left leg in front) with oblique side-to-side sit-ups;
8. Jump squats to pushups;
9. Tricep dips with fingers toward glutes with right leg lift to ceiling;
10. Tricep dips with fingers rotated outward toward walls with left leg lift to ceiling.

If you do this workout 3 times a week you’ll return to your Domestic Goddess level of hotness in no time!

But back to couples and their hotness. You know the latest uber-hot couple? Hello, obviously The Obamas!

Photo courtesy MSNBC.com

Michelle Obama is a rockstar (even though people here in NYC complained a bit too much about the red dress she wore to Barack’s acceptance speech), and President-Elect Obama is going to be our skinniest-president-ever! Hopefully you all read this op-ed piece in the New York Times about electing a Skinny Black Guy. Totally hilare article by Colson Whitehead.

Anyway, the Obamas obviously receive a double A+ in terms of couple hotness.

Let us know, DomestiGals, who’s hotter: you or your beloved?

Love,

Birthday Girl Sue

PS: Did I mention it was my 30th birthday, folks? Hello! I’m devastated. But still fabulous.

PPS: Thanks again to Kyla Bea for her fabulous post yesterday!

When faced with constant free meals like this:

This was the scene at a recent MBA barbeque/fatty gorgefest.
I mean COME ON PEOPLE. If it’s not the boozing that will kill my wedding figure, it’s the meat. Lots and lots of meat. Meat everywhere. And not healthy meat, either! And because I’m a poor grad student I have no choice, I MUST EAT IT. I MUST EAT THE FREE FOOD.
Sigh. As if post-workout puking weren’t enough of a lesson… Colossus would have my head if he ever learned of the true deterioration of my diet.
Sue! How will I be able to get through this year without either a) going broke because I’m trying to buy healthy food, or b) gaining a zillion pounds and busting out of my Wedding Dress of Dreams? And which is worse?
At least Nutella never comes free.
Sigh,
Jen

Hello Non-Honeymoonin’ Sue!
Palau is hot. The Lawyer and I have been thinking about our honeymoon but have not been able to even really narrow down our list - there is too much to see! However I have decided that, wherever we go, we will end our honeymoon in Munich for Oktoberfest. I mean obv I will not miss the perfect chance to spend a little more time with my ancestors… remember these dudes?

If they don’t ooze “romantic honeymoon” I don’t know who does!
Though frankly the thought of drinking lots of beer makes me feel a little ill right now, because I am still recovering from my session with Colossus yesterday. During which I puked my guts out (if you will recall from my tweet).
Now if I do recall, you recently made a friend of yours honk, correct? Ahem, if I may quote you directly from your tweet: “Sue went to the gym with her friend, Kat, and put her through Sue’s strength training routine. Kat threw up. Poor Kat. Mean Sue.”
All this exercise-induced hurling as got me thinking. Are we going too far? Pushing ourselves too hard? How hard is too hard? (MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, SUE! I MEAN FIGURATIVELY HARD!)
Granted, I probably should not have eaten a full breakfast of eggs, bacon, and sausage yesterday a mere few hours before my workout. And it was the first real workout I’d done with Colossus in awhile, and he basically put me through a death circuit. But still. I am not thrilled to have honked.
Sue, what are your thoughts on workout-related vomit?
Gals in the blogosphere, have you ever been pushed to these ridiculous limits? Or are Sue and I just insane?
Off to drink some more tummy-calming tea…
xoxo,
DomestiGal Jen