Okay.

I need some major help.  Actually, Jen, this may be useful for you and The Lawyer, as well, when you write your wedding vows.

I’m looking at non-traditional wedding vows, and can’t believe how many of them still include God, Jesus and not a single reference to Domestic Goddesses and Partners!  Sacrilege!

Anyway.

Which is your absolute fave?

DomestiVow #1:

Dear Doctor, I take you to be my husband from this time onward,
to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful Domesti-wife,
to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond;
a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.

DomestiVow #2:

You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.

May the nights be honey-sweet for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us.

(Ahem, clearly I only like this one because it brings up honey every 5 seconds.  As you all know, The Doctor and I love honey and want to be bee-keepers!)

The Doctor and Sue in their 80s!

DomestiVow #3 (Actually called The Eskimo Love Song… Jen, did I ever tell you how I was once mistaken for an Eskimo when I was at a bar in Dublin?):

You are my husband
My feet shall run because of you
My feet shall dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love because of you.
DomestiVow #4

To My Dear and Loving Husband, my Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize they love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought by love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere,
That when we live no more we may live ever.

Well?  Any DomestiGal out there want to share their bee-u-ti-ful wedding vows?

Love,

Vowless Sue

And the marriage begins! 

Of course, the following has not yet been completed:

1.  The dress.

Chinese Red Wedding Dresses

Have I seen the dress that my sister has designed for me?  Um, no.  Am I concerned?  Actually, no.  Will I even try it on before the actually wedding date?  Not sure.  My sister and I are the same size, so whatever fits her will probably fit me.  (BTW, the above photo is a joke.  I shall not be wearing a big question mark down the aisle.  Hmmm… although I won’t be walking down any sort of aisle, so I guess you weren’t concerned.)

2.  The location. 

East Village Garden

Has the garden where we’re getting married in the Lower East Side actually written us back to confirm?  Nope!  Have I reached out a couple of times to confirm?  Surprisingly, yes.  Shouldn’t I be worried?  Probably, but I’m not.

3.  The post-wedding lunch.

Have reservations been made?  I’ll let you take a guess.  However!  My future mother-in-law did plan our Sunday Mother’s Day brunch.  Phew.  She obviously knows what sort of daughter-in-law she is about to get!

4.  The officiant.

Apparently, unless The Doctor’s brother all of a sudden becomes a priest/rabbi/whatever, the marriage wouldn’t be recognized.  But!  Two of my other DomestiGal friends used this certified-ceremony-woman who apparently does fab wedding ceremonies (she did a wedding in Central Park for one of my friend’s, and another wedding on the Hudson for the other).   The Doctor took me into his arms last night and said, “Um, honey.  Did you know we’re getting married?”  And then demanded that I get out my day planner so that we could plan a day to meet with this certified-ceremony-woman (CCW).

5.  The rings!

Sue's Former Moissanite of Dreams

Hello.  You all know I’ve been trying to get my moissanite-of-dreams.  Unfortunately, the moissanite, upon arrival, was not that dreamy.  But, I did get confirmation yesterday that my cushion-cut engagement ring (and wedding ring friend) will be arriving in the mail soon.  We still have to get The Doctor’s ring, which, I can assure you, will be 5 times the cost of mine.  (The Doctor can be a wee bit fancy.)

Anyway, I hope this email didn’t give DomestiGal Jen a complete break-down, as I know she’s stressed enough with her own wedding plans and MBA classes!

xx,

Sue

Okay, seriously.

The Doctor and I haven’t had any time to talk to each other, or, for god’s sake, to plan for our garden wedding on May 9.

“Why oh why?” you ask.

Because. We. Are. Obsessed. With. LOST.

I realize we’re both about 4 years behind in terms of this interest.  (Remember, we don’t have a TV, so give us a bit of a break!)  While we’ve missed about 100 Manhattan bar parties that show LOST episodes, we’re desperately trying to catch up.

Forget what kind of vows we’re going to say to each other in front of our families… I’m too busy starting at Evangeline Lilly’s arms.

Wowsers!

I must admit that I have a bit of a DomestiGal crush on her.

While The Doctor assures me that my arms are *almost* there (we’re obviously Domestic Partners because he so sweetly lies to me all the time to make me feel good), I can promise you that they aren’t.  I read that Evangeline Lilly used to work out 3 hours per day and eat very little to keep her body fat down.  I’m not interested in working out more than 30 minutes a couple of times a week.  And sometimes that’s too much to ask.

Did you guys know that Evangeline used to date Charlie (from the show) in real life?  Is that weird or is that really weird?

Okay, back to Season II.  They’re in the hatch!

xx,

Sue

DomestiGals!

I trust you all had the loveliest of lovely weekends with your domestic partners, fiances, or other beloveds.

As I mentioned, The Doctor and I had made a conscious decision to try to do things other than eat, drink and read the NYTimes together.  While we have continued to eat at one fabulous restaurant after another (especially since, as I mentioned, fried chicken and waffles are *tres* in right now), we’ve also considered doing things other than fulfilling our insatiable appetites.

While the chess matches have gotten increasingly competitive (no doubt due to the fact that I’ve been watching 5 year olds get tutored by their 80 year Russian former Chess Champion tutors), we’ve also gotten back into taking more weekend hikes and getaways.

This past weekend, we went to this A to the Mazing B&B in Nyack, NY called RiverView.

Sue and The Doctor's Weekend Getaway

After all, we needed a break from the city, after this last 7 inch snowstorm whopper on Monday.  While it’s not quite like Jen and The Doctor’s romantic weekends in Paris or Rome, it’s more than sufficient in this time of economic suffering here in NYC.

Where The Doctor and Sue played chess and discussed Jen's orange wedding dress obsession!

Mmm… and, as it’s too tough for me to go a whole post without bringing up food several times, I must tell you about the wonderful restaurant we dined at!

Lanterna Tuscan Bistro is a great restaurant to take cooking classes, do wine tastings, or just enjoy each other over chicken breast stuffed with asparagus, smoke mozzarella, and prosciutto with a light truffle cream sauce.  Of course, if that’s not Colossus-worthy, then perhaps a whole rack of lamb encrusted with mustard and bread crumbs with white wine and a porcini mushroom reduction would be a bit more to his liking.

How is Colossus, his hot wife and his even hotter baby, by the way?

Thank goodness I have The Colon Cancer Challenge coming up, where I’ll be able to run for DomestiGal Jen and run off all the straight-to-the-Asian-calves dessert of marscapone cheese, espresso and lady fingers I devoured.

xx,

Sue

DomestiGals!

I must take a momentary break from wedding bonanza updates, moissanite obsessions and other uber-important items to discuss something else:  DomestiGal Careers!

DomestiGal Sue has just been invited to present at an event where Suze Orman, author of Young, Fabulous and Broke, will be speaking at The Learning Annex in late April.  I’ve been asked to talk about Web 2.0 and blogs!

DomestiGals Heart Suze Orman!

As you may or may not know, I run multiple websites and online businesses, and I am a partner in a start-up, Young Working Women, that helps women make smart decisions regarding a career path that’s right for them.  I’m also a huge fan of New York Times’ Shifting Careers columnist, Marci Alboher, author of One Person/Multiple Careers, about people who are uncomfortable with the question, “So, what do you do?” 

Why are they uneasy with this question?  Mostly because they refuse to be defined within the confines of a typical 9-5 job.  While DomestiGals may have traditional jobs (or not!) during the day, they are entrepreneurs in the evening, in addition to playing in a band and blogging at night.

A true DomestiGal is a Renaissance Woman!  We analyze Voltaire, watch C.S.I and Law & Order: SVU re-runs, compete in duathalons and marathons, volunteer for various non-profits, write Facebook status updates, run small businesses, plan weddings and attend graduate school.  All at the same time.

So?  This is my question to DomestiGalLandia:  Obviously all of us have blogs, read blogs, and obsess over blogs… what do we want the greater Web 2.0 community to know?

Do we make money from our blogs and videos?  Do we make friends from our blogs and Twitter pages?  Do we derive satisfaction from our multiple websites?

Suze Orman is the numero uno financial guru (I know I seriously considered every one of her questions about one’s domestic partner’s financial history before taking the big leap into marriage).  She’ll be speaking at the Wealth Expo in Manhattan, and I’ll be talking about Marketing on the Internet.

I want to hear from you to be sure that all your concerns are relayed as well.

If you have any items you would like addressed at this lecture, please email Sue at domestigals@domestigals.com.

xx,

Sue

First of all, I’m *dying* that Aspen pointed out that I put up a picture of Clint Eastwood, rather than Marlon Brando.  Thank you, my dear!  ;)  What would I do without our fellow DomestiGals?

I’d like to say, once again, how glad I am that I’m not having a full-out wedding. The Doctor and I, as you all know, are planning on having a family-only ceremony in a community garden in the East Village. Want to see another picture? Of course you do!

Here’s some immediate gratification!

East Village Garden

Anyway, afterwards, we originally thought it would be lovely to have all our friends get together for hors d’hoeuvres and yummy libations. You would think, especially in this economy, that restaurants and bars would be leaping over 10 long legged DomestiGals at the chance to have our money and party-goers! But, in fact, no one is returning calls! Or, they’re giving prices that are so ridiculously high ($75/person for wine and cheese at a dive bar?) that it’s no wonder that the place is totally empty. I realize this is Manhattan, people, and that the average wedding probably costs $100,000, but I’m about to go all Kate Hudson in Bride Wars on some of these places.

Kate Hudson gives the Smack Down

Our first Wedding Reception Location of Dreams in the East Village has since closed down. Thankfully we didn’t sign a contract of give them any money.

Our second Wedding Reception Location of Dreams in the East Village said we would have to close down the entire restaurant as their fried chicken and waffles brunches are just way-too-popular. (I must admit, fried chicken and waffles are tres chic right now in NYC, and are a close second to all the pork butt restaurants that have opened up.)

My point is this: even though we scheduled our Wedding Day on an optimal feng shui wedding day, this is getting ridiculous!

Jen, I hope you and The Lawyer didn’t buy your tickets to come to our reception on May 9, 2009, because we won’t be having one! Alas, instead we’re going to have all our friends come to our house after we get back from our honeymoon in Hawaii. So, just do us a favor and have some champagne in London on our behalf.

Love,

DomestiGal Sue

PS:  Aspen, did I get all the pictures right?  You’re going to have to be one of my photo monitors!  (Again, I’m missing the picture-gene that all other Asians have!)

Jen could die that I’m getting married.  I could absolutely die that I’m getting married.

I picked up The Knot Wedding Magazine and some other wedding magazine, and really wanted to die.  I think I flipped through it for 2 minutes before putting it down and moving back to my copy of The Economist.

Here’s the thing:  I’m not really having a wedding!  I mean, not a real wedding with rings and pretty feminine things.  And this will definitely not be Bride Wars, my darling Jen!  I could never go all Anne Hathaway on you, dear friend!

Anne Hathaway is Too Sweet for Sue!

Of course not, if given the chance, I would go all Lucy Liu!

DomestiGal Sue as Lucy Liu

I mean, come on.  Obviously NOTHING will outshine DGal Jen’s wedding!  After all, I’ll be presiding over it as head priest, minister and DomestiGal!

Sue as Jen's wedding minister!

But enough about you.  Back to me.

Actually, back to my Asian mother.

You see, since going from being Domestic Partners to being Domestic Fiancees, my Asian mother has been sobbing oodles and oodles of lo mein noodles.

Seriously.

She’s just so excited!  And because my mom’s excited, I’m miserable.

Why?

Let’s review yesterday’s phone conversation:

Lo Mein Mama:  “Sue, are all your wedding guests going to know each other?”

Sue:  “Um, no.  But, ma, remember.  It’s only family that will be at our community garden wedding.  Our friends will show up for the post-party.”

Lo Mein Mama:  “That’s what I thought.  I’m at the craft store right now.  Do you want me to get nametags for everyone?”

Sue:  (Beyond the beyond horrified):  “Um, what?”

Lo Mein Mama:  “You know, nametags.  You don’t want to risk having any Wedding Crashers, do you?”

Sue:  “Wedding Crashers?  As in the movie Wedding Crashers???”

Wedding Crashers at Sue's Wedding!

Lo Mein Mama:  “Horimoto had nametags at his NYC wedding.  And, because of that, they were able to ensure that there were no Wedding Crashers!”

DomestiGals,

So, I have a secret.  It’s a bit of a dirty very-unDomesticPartner-sort-of-secret.

The Doctor and I have decided to go from being Domestic Partners to Partners in Wedded Bliss.

That’s right – we’re getting married!

But, before everyone goes and flips off their wedding veils and starts planning a DGals online bachelorette party, I have to admit a few things:

1.  There will be no white wedding dress.

It will be red and hotter than hot as my youngest sister is designing it!  Here’s a sneak preview!

Sue

Okay, just kidding.  It won’t be *quite* so slutty.  (Just a little slutty — don’t tell my lil’ Asian mama!)

2.  There will be no church wedding.

We’re getting married in this community garden in the East Village of Manhattan.  (Please no comments about Miranda from Sex and the City getting married in a garden.  People, her wedding was in the West Village and mine will be in the East Village.  Tres, tres different!)

Here’s one photo of it!

East Village Garden Wedding

3.  There will be no diamonds.

Don’t faint, DomestiGal Jen  I’ll still be excited for you once you receive your diamond engagement ring 10 years from now!

PS:  I mean, I’m still completely open to fake diamonds like moissanites.

DomestiGal Sue's Moissanite!

PPS:  Is it bad if I only want to get married so I can have my fake diamond???  I mean, of course not, right?

Anyway, DomestiGals.  Of course there is no other group of gals I’d rather be celebrating with!  I’ll keep you ladies updated with events as they progress!

xx,

DomestiGal Sue

Many of you fabulous Gals in the blogosphere have probably seen this article that was published in the NY Times this week. And if you were simultaneously as horrified and fascinated as we were, you followed the article to this blog: Dating a Banker Anonymous.

Sigh. We, your DomestiGals, are quite torn here. Are these “DABA girls” bitchy or brilliant? Gold-diggers or geniuses?

DomestiGal Jen Says:

When I was a fundraiser for an NYC non-profit with a swanky donor base, I worked with a girl like these DABA girls. She was in the job to attend events to meet The Financier to get the perks and get the ring to attain the lifestyle for which girls like this thrive. I, on the other hand, only became more disillusioned by The Financiers and their Clingy Chick Counterparts. I’ll admit I was envious of their vacations, designer clothes, designer hangbags, and (especially) huge engagement rings and other bling. But the more time I spent around these people, the more sorry I felt for them.

I’m sure there are happy Financier-Clingy Chick relationships out there (though you wouldn’t know it to read the DABA girls’ blog, and I can’t think of any off the top of my head). But I think more often, these relationships are based on money and the perks it can bring. When the money dries up, so does the relationship. So, no thank you, I’ll just take my Lawyer for richer for poorer.

I do need to give these DABA girls props, however. I may not agree with their relationship priorities (even if I do envy their Marc Jacobs Stam or Valentino Petale), but good for them for taking to the Blogosphere to vent, rant, whine… and entertain the masses. I mean, with blog posts like “Ain’t Messin’ With No Broke Banker” - clearly I will be a repeat blog-stalker.

DomestiGal Sue Says:

Sigh.  You know, I’ve never been into the rich guy.  My ex-boyfriend (pre The Doctor Domestic Partner) was jobless, homeless — I don’t consider living with your mom when you’re 25 to be a legitimate home — and we dated for 4 years.  We stopped dating once he moved into this building in Manhattan called The Ritz and started making more money than god but still less than Trump.

Now, you may be thinking, “But, DomestiGal Sue, you’re Domestic Partner’s with a Doctor.”

People, people, people!  Let’s not forget that Doctors who do pediatric work a) don’t make as much money as, say, ANY OTHER DOCTORS and b) are drowning in 6 figures of debt, and, c) somehow always need
to borrow money from their cute-yet-stingy Asian princesses named Sue.

The best part about being with The Doctor is that he only works 13 days a month, so we get to dance around the house to Britney Spears’ Womanizer (ahem, we actually do this) as much as we want.  Plus, he puts pictures up on our fridge from all his pediatric ER patients who bring in drawings for him as thanks.

I’d never give up The Doctor for The Financier ever.  So help me DomestiGal.

And there you have our two cents. What are you thoughts, Gals?

xoxo,

DomestiGals Jen and Sue

Dear Jen,

Happy Chinese (ahem, Taiwanese) New Year to me!

And to you! And to all my future, ridiculously cute, JewAsian babies. If The Doctor and I ever plan on having any, obv.

Of course I had no idea what you were talking about on Tuesday when you discussed The Curve. I thought maybe you wanted to brag about all the curves that Colossus, your hot personal trainer, has been helping you define.

I’d much rather talk about those curves rather than the Curveball dance.

What curves are you hoping to emphasize? Your wedding dress is strapless, I know, so I’m sure Colossus is helping your shoulders look hotter than Madonna’s. Is he having you do endless push-ups and tricep dips in between study sessions for your MBA?

I took a Knockout Bride class last night at The New York Health and Racquet Club, and I can barely type this blog post as my arms are entirely too numb. I just envisioned a boxing fight between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston, and that pretty much helped me punch my way through the rest of class.

(BTW, I’m part of Team Aniston; though I’m really so over this whole fiasco).

But back to you and your bride-in-training-bottom.

I think we should take a long look at our favorite babelicious blog designer ever, Ms. Sherika Henry, and Just Eat Smart. She has lots of great tips on what to eat and what muscle to squeeze while doing it.

All right, I’m not done talking about Jen and Brangelina.  Come on, DomestiGal Jen, tell us:  Would you rather be the Knockout Bride who takes on Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

I’ll take on Angelina.  She’s fierce.

xx.
Sue