DomestiGals!

It is with tremendous enthusiasm that I write to you on this fine day.  First of all, where the *bleep* have we been?  DomestiGal Sue finally went from a Domestic Partnership to becoming a Wedded Woman, and DomestiGal Jen is getting married IN A MONTH!  Um, hello!

Ooh… I’m so tempted to show you real pictures of my wonderful, perfect wedding to The Doctor.  I looked absolutely salacious in my hot red dress.  And, even better with my gorgeous wedding ring!  Check it, ladies: Wedding Rings

Could you possibly find a better wedding ring site?  Our good friend Rachel sent us an e-mail about her wedding ring site, and we were hooked!  (We know you will be too).

But back to us… we know you’re just drooling all over your wedding gowns to see photos of Jen & I together.  Maybe we’ll treat you to some fancy pix of what we’ve been up to over the last few months.  We’ve missed you!

Love,

Wifey Sue

Okay.

I need some major help.  Actually, Jen, this may be useful for you and The Lawyer, as well, when you write your wedding vows.

I’m looking at non-traditional wedding vows, and can’t believe how many of them still include God, Jesus and not a single reference to Domestic Goddesses and Partners!  Sacrilege!

Anyway.

Which is your absolute fave?

DomestiVow #1:

Dear Doctor, I take you to be my husband from this time onward,
to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful Domesti-wife,
to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond;
a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.

DomestiVow #2:

You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.

May the nights be honey-sweet for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us.

(Ahem, clearly I only like this one because it brings up honey every 5 seconds.  As you all know, The Doctor and I love honey and want to be bee-keepers!)

The Doctor and Sue in their 80s!

DomestiVow #3 (Actually called The Eskimo Love Song… Jen, did I ever tell you how I was once mistaken for an Eskimo when I was at a bar in Dublin?):

You are my husband
My feet shall run because of you
My feet shall dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love because of you.
DomestiVow #4

To My Dear and Loving Husband, my Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize they love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought by love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persevere,
That when we live no more we may live ever.

Well?  Any DomestiGal out there want to share their bee-u-ti-ful wedding vows?

Love,

Vowless Sue

Ladies,

Rejoice! It’s Wedding Gown Wednesday!

Today is all about simplicity. Lela Rose’s debut wedding gown collection is divine, elegant, perfect. I love. Do you?

Lela Rose Spring 2009. This and all images via nymag.com.

Perhaps this gown is deceptively simple. An easy silhouette, but the criss-crossing fabric of the bodice is actually quite complex. And gorgeous. And flattering to boot!

Here’s another goodie:

Lela Rose Spring 2009

I grow ever more fond of lace as all this wedding-obsessing goes on. Again, a simple shape here - too curve-hugging for me, thanks, but I do appreciate it! - but the lace adds a layer of complexity. Not to mention romance!

Finally, a third and more daring number:

Lela again. She seriously rocks.

The boobie bow is not for everyone. I certainly could not pull off this look. But I covet. I heart. I think it’s different and modern yet enduring and timeless.

Exactly what a bride should be.

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

Ah Sue,

Fortunately for you, the stress of this MBA program is totally overwhelming me at the moment so I have no stress left for you and your unplanned-yet-definitely-happening wedding!

But do share some further details… your new moissanite is cushion-cut? Are there any sidestones? Do tell!

The other day I had my first dental appointment in London - no biggie, since I do have perfect teeth (for real. No cavities, no braces, no grinding, nada! Pure perfection! Dentists can never believe I haven’t had braces. My teeth are also unnaturally white, especially considering the amounts of coffee and red wine I drink - uh, drank, pre-detox, that is. Anyway.) - just had to have a cleaning. So I lay back in the chair, and this cute little hygienist puts on her mask and starts up the sonic cleaning thing (which, I mean, is it me or do those things always hurt more than they look like they should?), and then says, “Oh my goodness! Look at your ring!” And then - wait for it - I love the Brits - “That’s a proper sparkler!” And then she asked to see it up close.

Not that this is about me and my engagement ring of dreams.

So your new moissanite is cushion-cut, eh? Is it a solitaire, like this lovely moissanite morsel:

Courtesy of the confusingly-named www.moissanitediamond.com

Or did you get side stones, like these?

www.moissanitediamond.com again. Still confusing.

What about your wedding band? Is it plain or a moissanite eternity band? Deets, stat, lady!

Please, give me an excuse to think of bling instead of corporate finance…

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

And the marriage begins! 

Of course, the following has not yet been completed:

1.  The dress.

Chinese Red Wedding Dresses

Have I seen the dress that my sister has designed for me?  Um, no.  Am I concerned?  Actually, no.  Will I even try it on before the actually wedding date?  Not sure.  My sister and I are the same size, so whatever fits her will probably fit me.  (BTW, the above photo is a joke.  I shall not be wearing a big question mark down the aisle.  Hmmm… although I won’t be walking down any sort of aisle, so I guess you weren’t concerned.)

2.  The location. 

East Village Garden

Has the garden where we’re getting married in the Lower East Side actually written us back to confirm?  Nope!  Have I reached out a couple of times to confirm?  Surprisingly, yes.  Shouldn’t I be worried?  Probably, but I’m not.

3.  The post-wedding lunch.

Have reservations been made?  I’ll let you take a guess.  However!  My future mother-in-law did plan our Sunday Mother’s Day brunch.  Phew.  She obviously knows what sort of daughter-in-law she is about to get!

4.  The officiant.

Apparently, unless The Doctor’s brother all of a sudden becomes a priest/rabbi/whatever, the marriage wouldn’t be recognized.  But!  Two of my other DomestiGal friends used this certified-ceremony-woman who apparently does fab wedding ceremonies (she did a wedding in Central Park for one of my friend’s, and another wedding on the Hudson for the other).   The Doctor took me into his arms last night and said, “Um, honey.  Did you know we’re getting married?”  And then demanded that I get out my day planner so that we could plan a day to meet with this certified-ceremony-woman (CCW).

5.  The rings!

Sue's Former Moissanite of Dreams

Hello.  You all know I’ve been trying to get my moissanite-of-dreams.  Unfortunately, the moissanite, upon arrival, was not that dreamy.  But, I did get confirmation yesterday that my cushion-cut engagement ring (and wedding ring friend) will be arriving in the mail soon.  We still have to get The Doctor’s ring, which, I can assure you, will be 5 times the cost of mine.  (The Doctor can be a wee bit fancy.)

Anyway, I hope this email didn’t give DomestiGal Jen a complete break-down, as I know she’s stressed enough with her own wedding plans and MBA classes!

xx,

Sue

DomestiGal Jen,

We’re certainly having a detox emergency!  We have to get you hotter-than-your-already-oozing-hottness, and ASAP.  (And, since The Doctor and I just received your Save-the-Date, now there’s no extending time to get you in uber-Evangeline-Lilly form!)

DomestiGal Jen in 6 months!

I love that you’re taking fish oil, (over)eating salmon, and spending extra hours exercising with Colossus.

Have you considered drinking aloe vera juice as an all natural-cleanse?  You can read more about it on this detox site, Detoxilicious.

Secondly, and this will be hardest… [insert clearing of the throat here].  How many drinks are you drinking per week?  I mean, you’re a stressed out MBA student, so do tell.  Are you having a glass of wine an evening, or one glass of wine between classes??

DomestiGals love red wine

While wine is super high in antioxidants, and help us all prevent wrinkles and other unsightly signs of aging, you could also consider juicing with veggies, rather than, ahem, grapes.  Aside from that, depending on the pour, a glass of wine is anywhere between 100-200 calories.  Are you drinking an extra 1,000 calories per week?

Don’t worry, Jen, your response will be between me and you… and the rest of the DomestiGals.

xx,

Sue

Hello again Sue,

I realize that I got so into my anti-fondant tirade yesterday that I forgot to mention why the urgency to detoxify and fabulosify.

Well, first of all. I feel gross. Seriously, I haven’t worked out more than three times in as many weeks. Ugh. So not hot.

Second, I am getting married in less than six months! Which means I have less than half a year to get my Domestic Boddess in the best shape of my life! Ack!

Third, and most urgent, is the fact that in just over two weeks The Lawyer and I have our engagement photo shoot. Thus, I simply must look A to the Mazing STAT!

Now, you have known The Lawyer a lot longer than I have. Did you ever think he would agree to an engagement photo shoot?! I mean do you love it or do you love it. He’s even working out extra super hard with Colossus in order to be at his hottest. In fact, I am getting a little concerned that if I don’t start sweatin’ pronto, The Lawyer is going to totally out-hot me. Which is unacceptable. Obv.

So Sue, I have been thinking of you because you are the Detox Queen.

DomestiGal Sue, the picture of zen

So, in accordance with your teachings, I have taken the following measures to ensure ultimate hotness for my engagement pictures:

1. Fish oil rules. I am taking six capsules a day.

Fish oil is good for your heart, your skin, and your brain!

2. Detox tea. You know I love me some Yogi tea.

This tea tastes great and sometimes makes me poop.

3. Eating lots of salmon.

Here fishy fishy fishy... come to Jenny...

4. Cutting back on the booze. Yeah, um - so here’s the thing. If I drink whiskey that’s better than wine, right? Because, you know, you only need a sip or two. Please tell me this is acceptable, Sue. I can’t get through grad school sober.

Jack and Jen: MFEO?

5. And, last but not least, getting off my bum. I have some steep competition these days, as my trainer just got a new client:

DomestiGal Jen's fellow gym rat

No. For real. That’s really her. She’s a famous model.

But I bet she can’t deadlift 240 pounds!

Sigh. I think it’s teatime.

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

DomestiGal Sue,

I bet you’re wondering where I’ve been the past week. Well, it hasn’t been pretty. Finals got the better of me and I have emerged puffy, bloated, and broken out. It is not my finest hour, Sue. But starting today - TODAY, I tell you! - I am in offical detox and fabulosify mode.

Which is why I do not appreciate posts like your most recent one. Granted, I have been MIA so what right do I have to scold you for posting about carbtastic wedding cakes? Whatev. You know you love me.

For the record, I think the initial attempt at your wedding cake by your sister is A to the Dorable. And really? Can we clone her and give one of her to every bride-to-be out there? Because dude, if I had a sister who was willing to both sew my wedding dress AND bake my cake, I’d be one blissful bride.

The cake does need a little work, but I do applaud the use of buttercream frosting instead of fondant. I am really not understanding the increasing popularity of fondant-frosted wedding cakes. Is this Martha Stewart’s influence, I wonder? The more wedding magazines I buy the more anti-Martha I become, which may come as a shock considering I am the Domestic Goddess. But I simply do not appreciate the pressure she puts on us brides to have every detail of the wedding look totally perfect.

Martha, it's nothing personal.

Not that I want my cake looking like the sad, sloppy brownies that I baked for my sixth grade bake sale with multi-colored dinosaur sprinkles that my arch nemesis dropped down the stairs which I always suspected was on purpose - but I also do not need my wedding cake looking so - well - inedible.

Check it:

This is a wedding cake with fondant frosting.

Is it just me or does that just not look particularly yummy?

As opposed to this:

See now, the frosting is still smooth but you can tell that it’s creamier - and thus yummier - than that tasteless fondant.

I wish I actually knew who baked that cake with the buttercream swirlies, because that is what I want on my wedding cake! What do you think, Sue?

Thank goodness I’m back, because this cake issue is a big one and there is lots to discuss. Don’t even get me started on cupcake wedding cakes…

More soon! It’s good to be back!

xoxo,

DomestiGal Jen

So my youngest sister, who runs the shop, Shoda, from Boston, has recently added baking me and The Doctor’s wedding cake to the list of items she would like to do on May 9.

Mind you, she is also the same one who is designing my hot red wedding dress.

Chinese Red Dresses (But remember, Sue is half-Taiwanese!)

Let’s take a look at same of her sample wedding cakes from the other night.

Jewish Wedding Cake: Oy ve!

Just like Magnolia's Cupcakes

Okay, just kidding.  Sort of.  While my sister did bake these bagels (and, as The Doctor said, “I don’t even know any Jews on the Upper West Side who could make bagels like that!”), I don’t think we need to serve bagels as dessert to our families.

This is what my sister has been working on.

Sue and The Doctor's Wedding Cake: First Draft

My sister, let’s call her Debbie, has already been working on perfecting swiss buttercream frosting, and, I may or may not have requested that Nutella (that’s right Jen, did you just start foaming at the mouth?) be in between the layers of cake.

Hmm… will my cake look like this?

This looks like a cake of baby bottles. Or does it?

Or, perhaps, this?

This would merge perfectly with an orange wedding dress!

Or, ahem, like this!

Simple, elegant and all for me!

Frankly, I could eat that last cake all by myself.  Too bad there are going to be another 14 people at our wedding.

Love,

DomestiGal Sue

Uy, uy, uy.

Dearest DomestiGals,

The moissanite-ring-of-dreams arrived, and, rather sadly, is not for me.  I can’t believe I’m about to say this (as DomestiGal Jen may never speak to me again), but… there was too much bling.

Yup.

Too. Much. Bling.

And Sparkle.  (Let me read directly from my DomestiGal bio:  Sue was a special young girl, playing MASH with her friends but never dreaming of a wedding or diamonds. (White was never her color, and she dislikes all things that sparkle.)

While I appreciate that Jen needs bling to blind her fellow MBA students from passing their exams so that she can ace all of them, I really don’t have that need.  I mean, had I worn it during today’s 4 mile Colon Cancer Challenge race in Central Park, I would’ve blinded the 90 year old man that I was running neck-in-neck with.  That just wouldn’t have been nice.

Let’s take another look at my moissanite, shall we?

Sue's Wedding Ring.. has been eliminated!

It’s just so pretty!  I’m devastated that I don’t like it.  I showed it to Sherika and she absolutely loved it.  My other friend, Kim, was also in love and wore it for about 20 minutes during dinner.  They both thought it looked like a real diamond.

Then my jewelry expert friend Yaf came over this weekend for the *real* review.  I swear, I think she may have a better eye than diamond dealers, as diamond dealers can’t tell the difference between moissanites and diamonds, but Yaf can.

First of all, though I’m a size 4.5, I decided to take Jen’s suggestion to heart (the fact that one day I’ll be uber-fat from having lil’ DomestiGal babies) and get a slightly larger size.  I went for a 5, and the thing is practically falling off my hand.  But that’s not why I’m returning it.

I thought, since I was buying it as a set, that the engagement ring and wedding ring would actually, magically, fit together.  I didn’t realize there would be a 12 inch gap between the two rings and that they wanted me to wear it on both hands!

Aside from that, the center stone, aside from looking yellowish in certain lights, just looked too big on my finger!  (Even The Doctor said I needed a smaller ring!)  I understand that this is Manhattan, and that bling is where it’s at, but I don’t think it needs to be *at* my finger.

Anyway, so the search for the perfect moissanite still continues. This is really unfortunately, as I’m a) exhausted b) can’t stand searching for rings and c) am sick of obsessing.

Jen, will you just pick one for me already? What about this one?

Sue's Moissanite Ring of Dreams... take two?

Did any of you ever receive an engagement ring (or other piece of jewelry) that you secretly hated?  Do tell…
Love,

Ringless Sue